A heavy heart

This morning my heart his heavy. I am thinking a lot about life and death. I am thinking a lot about my grandma.
This past year has been a storm of emotions. Right after Christmas my grandma fell down her stairs...tumbling backwards only to hit her head on the cement floor. Now, something you all have to understand...my grandma is not your typical grandma. I have never seen her has a frail old lady. As a matter of fact, she has always been strong, serving everyone and able to hold her own. Never been afraid to speak what's on her mind and very much up to beat with what's going on with younger generations. So after the fall my grandma got up only to shake it off. She wouldn't let anyone take her to the hospital until my aunt and mom demanded she go. As the doctor entered they were unsure of what the news would be. But the piercing words came, "you have cancer." My grandma was diagnosed with end stage ovarian cancer. Very shortly after they went in for a major surgery, clearing out as much cancer as they could. We all stood by for weeks after the surgery wondering if she would survive. It's hard for a woman that age to bounce back after a major surgery. Of course, she fought hard, went through chemo during the spring and summer. In this past year, she overcame cancer, had 4 new great grandchildren (Owen, Lola, Caedmon, and Guillermo), went out west to be with my grandpa while he worked, went from laying on a hospital bed weak, to using a walker and oxygen at home, to completely being independent, to cooking meals, doing dishes, washing clothes and best of all(to me) having the strength to rock her feisty grandson at Christmas. She has overcome a lot and has done more than I have at a young age in this past year. There is something to be said for her strong spirit. We celebrated a beautiful Christmas, singing songs of thanksgiving to the Lord and thanking him that grandma was still here with us. She said it beautifully, that the Lord gave her another chance to grow closer to her and she is no longer afraid of dying. I had prayed that my grandma would be here to meet our little baby and I thank the Lord for giving me that blessing.
My grandma recently went in for a check-up and they found more cancer in her liver and another area(which I can't remember right now). So today was the day for surgery...after a long day of cleaning out her system, dry heaving and no sleep last night she went in for surgery. I called her at the hospital before the surgery and I heard a very tired, weary voice on the other end...but it was so calming to hear her and tell her I love her and that I will be praying for her. Afterwards I laid in bed with Guillermo praying and crying and thanking the Lord for life here and eternity. My mom called to give an update...grandmas 3 hour surgery only took 1.5 hours. They looked inside and saw way too much cancer and decided they could do nothing for her. The doctor gave her 6 months and recommended no chemo, but the chemo doctor recommended she have chemo beings she responded so well last time. They really did not expect her to survive the surgery and after and the doctors are pretty amazed (I guess I would be too if I did not know my grandma and the power of the Lord).
So I ask that you all pray for her (peace of mind and heart), and healing of course, but also pray for the lost souls that do not know Jesus. That they would realize the reality of death and the urgency to turn their life over to Christ.
Thanks so much. My grandma and I have shared so much together. A relationship that i have been so privileged to have.

picking out my dress

sleep overs...my grandma was famous at my college dorm freshmen year...they all wanted to meet this grandma that came for sleep overs at a college dorm with her granddaughter:)

my wedding shower

random get togethers

our wedding...aren't they precious?

a visit for my b-day

moving me out of a huge old house...she scrubbed down my kitchen, I should not fail to mention she has helped me move into and out of about every dorm and apartment I have lived in since coming to college.

my engagement

my graduation from nursing college

the birth of Guillermo

4 generations

so glad Guillo has been in her arms:)

A proud mom with her children

sweet moments

Romance

Check this out...it was good. It's on romance and some ideas. Very cute.

http://www.familylife.com/fltoday/default.asp?id=8455

Sleep sweet sleep

Guillermo is growing which means he is learning to sleep better and play on his own. Sunday night, he literally slept from 6:30pm until 8:00am! This was incredible!! So from 6:30 until 10:30 then I fed him and he went right back to sleep and then from 10:30pm until about 4:30am when he needed a feeding next..he woke up one time before that because he needed his pacifier. Then he slept from 4:30am until 8am. Then he got up to hang out a little bit and then he didn't even make it until 9, at about 8:50am he was ready for his morning nap. Anyway, I LOVE sleep and this was a good night of sleep.

So last night (Monday night) it was pretty much the same...except for he woke up at midnight for a feeding and then slept until almost 5am! Now it is 6am and he is sleeping again. Woo Hoo!

Maybe this is the start of some sleepful nights. I can't complain.

He's back

Our little guy is back from his overnight and now I can't sleep! I think I got too much sleep when he was gone:) Seriously, one of my favorite things to do is crawl under the covers and sleep without interruption, waking up when my body decides it's ready to wake up. So I did that and it was awesome! The result, was getting nothing done and just sleeping. But, I guess that's okay for one day. I just hate the feeling of not being productive. I feel so lazy. So this week I need to kick it into gear! Anyway, here are some random pics...

This picture makes me want to squeeze him:)
This is how many of our early mornings are spent:)
Francisco giving him a pony ride....

The attack of the octopus...He loves to chew on this thing, which is way bigger than his mouth

14 weeks, 15 weeks and his first overnight

So I am a little late with this one....but what's a week? Last Friday (January 12th) Guillermo turned 14 weeks, that's 3 1/2 months folks! He's growing...but when I think about things, it wasn't that long ago that I went through the whole process of birth...and I would do it again! Here are the pics...

15 weeks

And today (January 19th) he turned 15 weeks. He is a week closer to 4 months old! They grow so fast. Here are the pics I took of him today:)

So I just let him go for the night to his grandparents house:) This is his first overnight....how fun:) I was sad when my dad was driving away with my little Guillo...but he'll be back tomorrow, before I know it. So I should stop blogging and get things done that I normally don't get done when he's with me. I wish I would have gotten a picture of him leaving, but I forgot. I guess I didn't know what to do...he seems too young to know, yet I don't want to have him leave without saying goodbye:) I think I might take a nap. After all, this place seems so quiet.

13 weeks old.

Guillo turned 13 weeks last Friday (January 5th) here are some pics to keep track of how big he's getting.

My very serious guy:)

Notice the tennis shoes Uncle Tom and Aunt Nichole got him for Christmas...just his style

(or Ours:)

This is his new thing....how many fingers or hands can he get into his mouth at once?

My sweet little teddy bear

Just hangin' with dad

Does the way you dress matter?

I read this letter on somebody else's blog...I thought it was an interesting take. Just curious on your opinion. After having a baby boy I think I am definitely more sensitive to these issues. especially when I am trying to train him in the ways of the Lord. I think it is always good to question what our motives actually are.

Girls, could we talk to you right out of our hearts for a few minutes?
It is awkward for us to talk about something of this nature, in person,
so we thought we would write our feelings.
We are young men who have been saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit.
We desperately want to live for Christ and not follow the ways of the
world. Since we have been baptized (immersed) in a "Holy" Spirit, we
feel in our hearts that we should live "holy" lives. After all, our
bodies are the temple, the sanctuary, the place where the "Holy" Spirit
lives and makes His home.
We know that guys and girls are affected differently, so since we
desperately want to follow hard after God, could we kindly and
respectfully ask you to help us with a few things?
We realize that girls are primarily stimulated or turned on by "touch."
Did you know that guys are turned on by "sight?" So when you are
"aroused" (sexually awakened) by a guy's "touch," we are in the same
way aroused by mere "sight." Let us explain. When we see girls who are
dressed in a suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing
manner, our sexual desires are aroused. Our bodies are then affected.
To be absolutely candid, let us give you some examples of what we are
referring to. If you are wearing a blouse that barely meets the waist
of your slacks and some of your skin shows while you are moving around,
or simply while you are walking, sitting, or kneeling, our minds are
geared to wonder what more of your body would look like further
up....This causes our bodies to respond biologically, and suddenly we
are fighting a war in our minds and bodies. And that war of lust is
continuing often long, even hours, after you are gone. We hate this,
because our "righteous man" wants to think pure thoughts....
When you wear low-cut tops which are in any degree revealing, or when
you bend over, and they are revealing, this again causes us big
problems in the flesh. Or if the back is out of your top, we
automatically think that you do not have the undergarment on, and the
Spirit and the flesh begin to fight again. Or when we see any glimpse
of your undergarments, such as straps and the like, we have trouble.
What we are trying to say is this: If it is not for sale, don't
advertise it. We really feel that the still small voice of the Holy
Spirit speaks to you and nudges you when it is too tight, too short,
too low, or too revealing. Will you listen to that voice? For the
Scripture says, "Quench not the Spirit." (1 Thess. 5:19)

Girls, do you know what we would really like? We would like to come
among our Christian sisters and not have to fight and struggle in the
flesh. We do not need to have to wrestle in the flesh at church or at
church activities. We men, whether young, old, single or married, are
faced with this every day among girls of the "world." But we would like
to have rest in our Spirit man when we come among Christian girls.
After all, doesn't the Scripture tell us to "come out from among the
world and be you separate, saith the Lord." (2 Cor. 6:17) It also tells
us that "all that is in the world, the lust of the eye, and the lust of
the flesh, is not of the Father, but is of the world." (1 John 2:15) We
are the church, not the world.
We know that people often use the verse, "Man looketh on the outward
appearance, but God looketh on the heart," (1 Sam. 16:7) to condone
anything they wish to wear. This is one of the most misused/used
out-of-context verses in the Bible. Conversely, the fact is, if your
heart is pure, your outward appearance will be modest....
Girls can be fashionable and modest at the same time. To be honest, we
respect you more when your appearance is modest, as the Scripture
commands in 1 Timothy 2:9. We really do not want the kind of girl who
dresses provocatively, for we know that if we marry her, she will still
be that way in the presence of other men once we are married.
We know that we have Christian responsibilities toward girls, too. We
must be careful to portray ourselves properly. We must treat you like
ladies. If we are really committed Christian guys, we will strive to
treat you like Jesus would. After all, you are daughters of God.
Thank you, dear Christian sisters, for hearing our hearts on this
subject. Once we have conveyed the truth of the matter to you, you
become responsible before God for what you do with the truth. We really
are "our brother's keeper." (Genesis 4:9.) We know that there is a
"cult of conformity" in our generation, but we as Christians "march to
the beat of a different drummer." Please, girls, do not say, "I don't
care," but help us in these last days to live as close to Jesus as we
can. Thank you so much.

Sincerely,

Committed Christian Guys"

Team effort

This is Guillo's stamp of approval or something like that. He always puts his thumb between his fingers like that...I actually tried it and it is pretty comfortable.

Just hangin'

So my boy fell asleep while I was talking on the phone with my friend Emily about our obsession with 24:) I think he realized the conversation wasn't ending anytime soon.

Low Battery

I am having a low battery night! UGH! I wanted to call my friend Emily back, but the cordless needed to charge...low battery. I wanted to take a picture of Guillermo sleeping, but I could only get one...low battery. I wanted to film Guillermo sleeping, but only for a short while...low battery. Then, I wanted to post the picture I took for Emily, but I couldn't...low battery. Everything had a low battery at the same time!! How does that work? So since I can't post my cute picture I will post about my low battery:)

*By the way last Friday (December 29th) Guillermo turned a whoppin' 3 months! He's growing and all I can think about is too soon he will be talking, walking, running and then he won't want to cuddle anymore....so I am trying to get all my cuddling in. Here are the pics.

Road trip to Virginia

So here was the order of events.
We left IC on Saturday the 23rd to go to my parents and see my brother and sister-in-law who flew in from Oregon:) Then on Sunday the 24th we celebrated Christmas in Dubuque and then on Monday the 25th we headed to Montezuma to celebrate Christmas with my grandma and the rest of our extended family.
Then on Monday the 26th we embarked on a 13 hour trip to Virginia to spend a few days with my sister and her family. It was Guillo's first road trip and he did great! The trip was one we won't forget. We were squished in a 7 passenger van, but their were many laughs and great memories. My brother was the all time sandwich maker and Francisco and I were designated to the back seat with our baby:) So I told my sister-in-law to take advantage of the front seat while she is pregnant because once she has the baby she will be thrown in the backseat:)
The following pictures capture some of the trip. It was truly a blessing to be able to be with everyone. I love my family.

Just the beginning...

We love our nephew Caedmon....he is such a sweet baby.
I think the guys were having more fun in Brighton's marching band than Brighton was:)
A nice walk around a lake in the mountains. They live in Blacksburg, which is at the foot of the mountains. Very pretty. They also took us to where Dirty Dancing was filmed...pretty cool. So the following pictures were taken by Tom. He does an awesome job of taking photos, that I think look pretty close to professional.

The whole family

Grandpa and Grandma with their grand kids

All three boys

Caedmon and Guillo

The Russian Santa Claus and the Mean Santa Claus...this one cracks me up!

My sweet baby boy